So, I shan't spend a paragraph
apologizing (though I am sorry) or coming up with excuses (it's the beginning
of my second semester!). But, you know,
I'm an artist, we're supposed to be inconsistent and flighty. And inconsistency is far better than the other
legacies left me by past writers (and other artists): reclusiveness, torrid yet
doomed romances, depression and suicidal tendencies, etc.
But, my dear
readers, I digress.
Two weeks ago I went to spend a few
hours with my eldest sister and her daughter, my niece. Upon arriving at the train station, I called
my sister—who was going to meet me—and discovered that she had not yet left the
house.
Initially, I'd planned on staying
downstairs in the station and waiting for her (I didn't want to use the wrong
exit), but the scent of urine had wafted into my nostrils one too many times,
and so I decided to head upstairs.
While up there, inhaling deeply of
the fresher air, I began playing with my phone; texting and eventually calling
one of my friends for entertainment. In
the midst of my phone conversation, a being slams into my stomach and, in a
deepened voice says "Bebe."
(note: My actual
nickname is Lily 'or Lee Lee' but with the arrival of my niece eight years ago,
Bebe or Bee Bee 'b that one looks weird' was born.)
As I laughed and told her that she
was a little creep, she was telling me !"come on". She took my left hand and put it on her arm
before we started walking. And then she
and I walked home together (with my sister following behind us, of course).
Kiki—my niece—was actually a pretty
good guide. She sometimes wouldn't tell
me to stop at street corners but I think a part of that is her still working
out the stop sign and traffic lights and when to and not to go herself. She would also just make short stops rather
than slowing down. But other than that,
she walked me into nothing. (I was also
still using my cane and eye, of course.)
Now, I'd noticed this before too,
with my god sister (who is the same age).
Though with her, she would always hold my hand. That's actually what Kiki used to do as well
so I'm not sure what changed. But anyway
Naya (godsister) was generally a far better guide than her older—by five years—brother. I was going to write that it is because I
grew up with Kiki and Naya why they are such good guides, but I grew up with
Jamari (godbrother) too. But he's just
an interesting young man :)
But it seemed
like they were less worried and caught up in…everything. They look out for
themselves when walking, and now they were just looking out for one more
person.
There have been
many times when someone was going to guide me, and they were so busy
apologizing for doing perceived wrongs, or obsessing about whether or not they
would walk me into anything, that they usually do all of the things they’re
worried about.
* * *
My niece still occasionally asks about
my eyes. For example, two weeks before
this event, she asked why my eyes were different from those of her and my
sisters'. I told that I was born like
that, but also that it was sometimes good to be different. She disagreed, saying that people laughed at
you when you were different (I'll be working to change that point of
view). And later that day, when I was
talking about my braillenote, she asked if it was something that only people
with blue eyes could have.
But even though she's still trying
to grasp all of the intricacies of my disability (what I can and cannot see),
she does get it, mostly (as evidenced by every time she shoves a book in my
face so I can more clearly see a picture).
Kids learn so quickly. And I
appreciate their candidness (that many adults lack).
Initially, I just wanted to write
this post to tell you about what good guides some kids make (some kids are naturals,
just as some adults), but as I wrote, it morphed into how easily they
adapt. And how many of us lose that as
we grow older. My niece, godsister, and
godbrother grew up with a blind person in their midst, and I feel (hope
strongly) that I've helped with a new generation of at least three open-minded
kids. Not only in terms of how they react to and treat blind people, but other
disabled people too.
I hope this for everyone I’ve spent
a prolonged amount of time with. Peers, older people, cousins, my other
godsiblings...
In
the case of my niece and my godmother’s kids, knowing their parents, I don't
think they'll loose it (I’m not sure what word best fits here)..
It
saddens me a little when a person who, as a child might have asked questions
like: "why are your eyes like that?" or something, grow up to be
terrified, for lack of a better word, to ask questions because of perceived
societal rules. Especially as we become
more and more sensitive and increasingly obsessed with political correctness.
Moral of the post: be open. Embrace your inner child. Be okay with guiding and speaking to a blind
person (or other disabled person). Maybe
don't ask your questions as bluntly as a child might "What's wrong with
your eyes?" but still ask, maybe start with "your eyes are
interesting.” But please, and I beg of you, if you ask someone if they have in
contacts, and they say no, please don’t ask if they’re sure/certain. Yes, this
has happened… more than once.
I
realize that the eyes questions are a little specific to me and a handful of
other people, so something else I’m asked is: "how do you use your phone?” While sometimes it frustrates me (if I have
an earpiece in, I'm probably listening) but I realize it's irrational. My favorite is when people ask if there's
"some sort of braille" or "tactile feedback" on my
screen. It makes me laugh, I'm not sure
why, but I do appreciate that the asker is trying. Their trying to come up with a solution, and
even if their wrong, it's a conversation starter.
And while I am asked these questions
outright, more people spend the time whispering to their companions instead of
asking the person who can give them an answer. Most kids would ask.
Kids
also whisper, both to their parents and friends, but I feel it is more likely
that they will say something.
Why do parents hush their kids when
they ask things? Or apologize profusely even after the question is answered?
Especially when they were probably wondering the same thing?
But I guess this is where we
straddle the line of “politeness” and “being rude”.
In conclusion: be open. Let yourself be open.
Till next time
Ps. 655 pageviews!
And over the last two or three days, I’ve acquired 4
new subscribers to my vlog,
giving me 37!!!!!!!!!
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