I Hate Finals

Hey all,

 Just wanted to let you all know that, though I have two posts in progress, I'm not allowing myself to finish them until finals week has ended. I have two research papers and six short essays to write... yay.

  I'm proud of  myself for actually sitting down and writing this. When I'd disappear for months, I would always mentally compose posts explaining my absence, but never actually write them. So see? I've grown. (Writing this post is also giving me a few extra minutes of procrastination time... so maybe not too much growth.)

  Well, I hope everyone's weekend is better than mine.

And, for those of you in New York, what do you think of the dramatic weather shift?

#WintersComing

Mending Misconceptions #3: Do Blind People have/use EchoLocation?

Last week, I was hanging out with one of my friends, ostensibly doing homework. But every now and then I’d check on his progress, and he’d have gotten distracted by social media. So I’d jokingly reprimand him. So,there was one point when I asked, and he told me yes, he was working to which I responded “no you’re not.”

“How do you know that?” He asked, not even trying to deny it.

“Your head is ducked and your looking at your phone right now.”

“That’s exactly what I’m doing!” He seemed shocked and but fascinated. “How did you know that?”

“Well,” I told him. “Your voice was lower, so I figured you were either looking away from me or down. But your voice was also a little muffled as a result of having the phone in front of your face.”

“Oh my God, you have like, echolocation (or maybe he said sonar)”

…I’m pretty sure he was joking—at least we laughed about it afterward—but it’s what prompted me to write this post.

***

According to Wikipedia—an undoubtedly trustworthy source—there are two types of echolocation: animal and human. For the purposes of this post, I'm only going to include the definition of human echolocation, but there's a link to the animal one, in case you want to compare.

—Note: I feel it's wrong to differentiate animal from human, it perpetuates the mistaken idea that humans are not animals. We are.,  

• Human echolocation is the ability of humans to detect objects in their environment by sensing echoes from those objects, by actively creating sounds – for example, by tapping their canes, lightly stomping their foot, snapping their fingers, or making clicking noises with their mouths – people trained to orient by echolocation can interpret the sound waves reflected by nearby objects, accurately identifying their location and size. This ability is used by some blind people for acoustic wayfinding, or navigating within their environment using auditory rather than visual cues. It is similar in principle to active sonar and to animal echolocation, which is employed by bats,, dolphins and toothed whales to find prey.

***

I do not use echolocation. And I do not know of anybody who does. For me, personally, I can see. And though my vision has worsened this year, I still have enough to get around some (certainly not all) objects. But thinking about my fully blind friends, none of them echolocat either. Now, there are instances wherein I (or a blind person) is in an open area, like a parking lot, and because of how your cane or voice echoes, you can tell. But it isn't echolocation as described above. It's just going off of experience and sounds/information that anyone might gather.

Sighted readers, think about it. You expect sound to echo more in an abandoned lot. Or the wind to sound/feel differently.

But I don't want you to go away feeling like an a-hole for asking your blind friend if they have sonar.. There's this  famous man, Daniel Kish,  who taught himself how to  navigate using tongue clicks. He claims that it was because his parents raised him like a sighted child, i.e.,,, not imposing on him their ideas of blind appropriate activities. I believe he uses a cane sometimes, but he relies a great deal on his clicks.

So he started an organization where he would teach other people how to use their clicks. And honestly, it does seem like a pretty good system; he rides  bikes, climbs trees (well, I've done that without the aid of echolocation),  and other activities that are typically viewed as, if not impossible, than nearly so, for blind people to perform. But people in the US aren't very receptive to his method. And I'm pretty sure it's for the same reason I hesitate, it's "weird".

It would add to so many blind stereotypes; people already think there's a couple thousand (or more) Dare Devils strolling around. That’s sounds very self-conscious doesn’t it? And you might say that if it helps, why not do it? To that question I ask how would you feel in my place? Imagine yourself walking down a city street clicking. It’s not supposed to be very loud but, now imagine yourself as an observer. You would steer clear of that undoubtedly crazy person. Or if any of you have taken voice lessons. Some vocal exercises are so silly that, even with your instructor you initially feel hesitant repeating them. Or you don’t do it with confidence. Not until your comfortable, anyway.

So now you might say that I, or the other stubborn Americans just need to try it out and, like those silly vocal exercises, we’ll get used to it. But let’s be real here.I’m not overly self-conscious yet I don’t necessarily have a “F the world” attitude. And it pains me to think about clicking down the street. All the things people would say. If they just stared, well, who cares, I can’t see ‘em anyway. But others can be very vocal with their opinions… Just imagine.

But maybe the reason people are resistant isn’t because of public opinion. Maybe it’s because there's already a system that I, and others feel work for us. In the article I linked above, Kish seems to believe that most blind people have the "it if ain't broke, don't fix it mentality", and while that may be the case for some. Others may genuinely like their techniques. Or maybe we’re such creatures of habit that to go so completely out of our comfort zones is terrifying. Relying, and trying to learn a new technique.

I've said that I think this method is cool. And I don't think I would be opposed to trying to learn it (preferably with not a lot of people around, at least initially), but I have a few issues with some of the arguments he's made.

Kish feels that his method will lessen blind people's dependence for sighted aid. I can agree with that. He also seems to feel that blind people are trained to expect assistance. And that is where I disagree. He talks about his free childhood that lead him to develop. his echolocation skills.

My family treated me like a “normal’ child (you can find evidence of this in the scar above my left eye from a game of tag when I was 8); I also used to ride my bike. And I climbed trees too. Okay, it was two trees in fourth grade but still.

The echolocation technique may have come in handy during that game of tag (I got distracted by the sun) but I wasn't really coddled, or I don't feel I was when it came to playing and just being a kid. Of course I know some people whose parents are super strict and don't seem to realize that blind isn't the end of the world. But some parents grow out of that; it’s what mobility instructors, vision teachers, and any other type of instructor are there for.

I'm aware that there are some places wherein this is not the case. That there a mobility teachers who don't teach effective travel skills. And people who aren't assigned vision teachers, and so have no real support system in school; no one to make sure they have the proper materials in the appropriate format. And that sucks. And we certainly have a long way to go in terms of widespread support and awarenesss, but I feel, in the US anyway, things aren't so bad.

But maybe I'm wrong. I try to be unbiased, and not filter the world through a NYC lens. Because this is a pretty awesome city. And even we have our problems. I’ve even been screwed over by “the system”…

I’m fully aware that I could also just be being overly sensitive.

Ah well.

You

In short, there are blind people who echolocation. But it’s not an inborn skill. It has to be taught. And it involves, in the case of Daniel Kish, tongue clicks. But I do know of people (well, I’ve been told stories by teachers) about people who sometimes tap their canes to get a feel for how much is around them. It has something to do with how the sound echoes.

But I also know people who are fully blind and just naturally have amazing spacial awareness. I suppose it’s akin to some sighted people being natural athletes and others who can barely keep their balance.

Before I go, I want to share a few links with you all. First, 

this is the piece I wrote for blindnewworld.org. They have a section on their site called #MyBlindStory and both blind and sighted people are welcome to contribute. Well, the latter only if they have had interactions with a blind or visually impaired person.

After you finish my piece, I encourage you to look around the site. Their mission is creating a new world for sighted and blind people by making the former more comfortable with the latter, and helping the latter have their voices heard. Or at least, that’s my interpretation.

The next link is to a podcast episode featuring Daniel Kish  (first shown to me by my sister).

Note:Kish is not the first story.

And finally here's a link to the most recently mended  Misconception.

So, what do you all think of this human echolocation?

Mending Misconceptions #2: Do Blind People Count Their Steps?

One day during some point in my high school career, I was walking to the Vision Resource room (the place where vision and mobility teachers work). As I walked down the hall, a group of boys were standing in front of the door so I ended up walking past it. I could always tell which was the right room because it had double doors And. I realized that I'd passed it because there  was a long stretch of wall.

So, when I realized this, I turned back. This time the guys noticed me and as they moved out of my way, one of them was like:

"Yo, move outta her way. You messing her up, she's trying to count her steps."

I sometimes respond to people talking about me as though I'm an object, rather than a person. But this was not one of those times. Instead, I.  just laughed as I walked into the room. I think that's the first time I'd had that experience, of someone assuming that I, and consequently all blind people counted their steps.

A more recent instance of people assuming this happened about two weeks ago. I was on my way to my third day of training for my job when a construction worker stopped me. I was about to walk onto whatever they working so he offered to assist me to the corner and, consequently, around the site.

They guy grabbed my arm, and I had to correct him asking politely if I could instead hold his arm (I'll write a post on how to properly guide a blind person in the future).

But anyway, after correcting the guiding position, we setoff. As we walked, he told me what street we were approaching. I made some sound of acknowledgement and he responded, in a very stereotypical Brooklyn accent:

"So, you counting your steps or what?"

***

I don't do it. And I don't think I know anyone that does.

It's so inconsistent. Like, one day it may take you ten exuberant steps to walk from your home to the store. But fifteen slow, dragging ones as a reflection of the dreary weather.

Now, this isn't to say that no blind person counts their steps, some people may. But it's a silly generalization.

Now, some people may, subconsciously know how many steps are in their room, or how many steps it takes to get from one room to another. But I think that's getting into memorization/familiarity territory. I'm sure many Sighteds can get around their own homes with their eyes closed, and without counting their steps..

In case your interested, here's a link to the first mended misconception, on our supposed extrasensory ability.

And here's another link to a surprisingly accurate WikiHow article on interacting with blind people..with photos

Happy reading.

I Slapped Someone Today... By Accident

As texted to my sister and a few friends:

• Um… I may have just backhanded someone by accident.

• As I was walking, I put my hand up, the one with my phone in it, to rub my nose. On my next step, the back of my hand connected with the side of someone's face.I was in the process of lowering it… it didn't make a cool resounding sound, I assume because there was no real force behind it, but it startled both of us. I'm not sure why she was so close considering I was in the middle of the sidewalk but… yeah…
• • But then, I think she was just .. standing there!!

I was very startled by the encounter. And when my sister sent me back a laughing emoji I was like it's not funny! But a few seconds later I started smiling. It was just kind of surreal.

And something I forgot to tell them in the messages was that after having slapped this woman, she asked if I was okay. … WHAT?

***

Look out for the post I have scheduled for tomorrow at 8. In the meantime, check out one of my latest  Vlog videos. My sister and I went to DC, and people were actually speaking to me like  I was a person. (Watch the video to better understand).

See you around… or rather, you'll see me :-)

Back & Here To Stay

I, Lily, hereby solemnly swear, by the old gods and the new, to update this blog on a weekly schedule.  I realize that it may be hard, initially, for you all to take seriously my words (just look at my track record).  But I intend to prove, with actions, that I mean what I type.

I am attempting to get my ...  life (yes, that's the word I was originally going to write: life) together.  I have writing contests to enter, a novel to work on, and a vlog and blog to update regularly.

This is going to be hard, but I'm attempting to make a schedule for myself as this semester has been far more…  intense than the previous two.  I've had to read, literally, hundreds of pages every week.

My poor time management skills have been put to the test these past months, and have proven to be just as bad, if not worse than I thought they were.

I've also decided that I will not only be sharing my blind experiences, but all things about my life.  And since blindness happens to be integral to my life, well, it should all go hand-in-hand.

Before I end this post, I would like to thank everyone whose returned to my blog.  When last I updated in May, I had a little over 900 page views.  And as of today, I have 1211.

You guys are freaking awesome.😃

To Margaret and Roman: Two of My Favorite Strangers

Hello my dearest readers,

I know, it's been nearly a month since I wrote to you all.  But this semester has been more trying than the last .  I've also, as has happened in the past, been having trouble coming up with things to write about.  It's been a lot easier rambling on camera for the vlog than sitting down and writing.  I hold a far higher standard for my writing than I do for my videos-which, of course, isn't to say that my videos are of poor quality-but I am a perfectionist when it comes to my main craft and it is so easy to digress on camera.

But the final day of classes is the 19th, and while I'll be taking a summer class, I'm going to be a lot stricter with myself with my "at least one post a week" rule.  And I will try to make it consistently on Saturdays.

But anyway, I've managed to digress from the reason behind this post: Margaret and Roman.

A few weeks ago, I went to a Yankees game with my sister (she was given two tickets at work).  It was actually my third time going to a baseball game: the first in fifth grade where the Mets lost to the Yankees 0 to 1, then came the camp trip when I was thirteen or so (it was the Staten Island Yankees) and I never got to see the game because it rained, and then this event where the Yankees won 6 to 3 against the Tampa Bay Rays.

On my way back to my dorm that night, my sister and I were in a different part of the train than I normally ride in.  So when I got up stairs, I was slightly disoriented.  I knew which intersection I was at, I just wasn't certain of my direction: so which way was east, west, etc.  As I pulled out my phone to check maps, the kind lady who'd helped me find the turnstile when I was in the train station, offered me further assistance by orienting me.  The kind lady, who I later came to learn was Margaret, and her son, Roman even went so far as to walk with me the entire way to my dorm.  I was going to take the crosstown bus (because though it was a rather nice night, I was feeling lazy) but she told me that they were headed in that direction anyway.  So after a brief bout of indecision (that's one of my personality traits) I agreed and we set off.

On the walk-which involved crossing four avenues (for my readers who have never been to New York, an avenue block is the equivalent of anywhere from one and a half to two and a half regular city blocks)-the three of us talked about all manner of things with school and books being two of our main subjects.  Nine-year-old Roman is an avid reader (a trait I hope you never lose) and Margaret as well, so we traded names of authors and books we liked.

I think one of my favorite moments was when I asked Roman if he'd read the Percy Jackson series and he said "yeah, I read that a long time ago" (or something to that affect).  I definitely had an older person moment because I thought something along the lines of "really dude? How long ago could it have been? My long ago was about four years ago when I was fifteen, and you were probably just past toddlerhood." Of course this was thought good naturedly.  I think I then went on to think something along the lines of: "kids" and how different time is depending on your age.  Then I reminded myself that I wasn't even that old, only nineteen.  And I laughed at myself and resumed our discussion.

Once we'd reached the point at which we were to part ways, Margaret offered to just walk me all the way home.  It only put them about two blocks out of their way, but it was still an extremely nice gesture.  And then, upon arriving at my dorm Margaret realized that this was the location where she and Roman came to swim weekly (the school rents the pool and gym to outsiders).  And that was an exciting coincidence.

As they walked me to the front doors, she also commented on the beauty of the tulips that were blooming outside of the building.  I made a point of stopping and checking them out in the daylight the next morning, and they are quite lovely.  So thank you for mentioning them, because it might have been a while before someone else pointed them out to me.

Upon entering my room after leaving them, I called my sister to let her know that I'd arrived and about the pleasant strangers I'd met and promoted myself to (by telling them about the blog).  I then talked to one of my friends, who I also regaled with the story of my walk with the strangers.

"They walked me all the way home," I told.  "And we spent the entire walk talking but it was neither awkward or frustrating."

"Oh that's good," she responded.  "I was actually going to ask if they were annoying."

And I'm delighted to report that you were not.  There are so many people who offer assistance to me and, when I take it, talk incessantly about things I either don't care about or don't have that much to say about.  I realize that that may sound unkind, but generally, when I accept assistance from people it's because they were being pushy and I did not want to argue.  How I feel about the chatter is also dependent on my mood.  As I told Margaret, I don't care that your best friend's boyfriend's cousin's ex-wife is, was, or is going blind.  Well, actually sometimes those stories are interesting.  Or if the person is going blind, I can offer up information about resources.  But generally people just throw the information out there with no real purpose.  Usually causing me to respond awkwardly "oh, that's cool" or "really?".  And after the person says "yes" or something to that effect as response, it doesn't lead anywhere.

On Thursday, someone asked if I needed help crossing the street, upon shrugging and saying sure, the guy said "my elbow is here".  When I looked up in surprise, he was like "my mom's blind, so I know what to do?.  Then we crossed and parted ways.  That was a cool interaction; it was short, sweet and the relationship to the blind person was relevant.  There are other people that know to offer their arm/elbow because of helping other bl/visually impaired people or maybe from observation or the assumption that offering one's arm is less strange than holding hands.

But anyway, I went completely off track there (so much for my words at the beginning of the post, right?).

As I arrived at my dorm yesterday, the public safety officer stopped me and told me that Margaret and Roman wished him to give me their regards.  I was very confused initially so he began to hesitate a little:

"Margaret's the mother," he said slowly.  And after another second, the lightbulb snapped on.  And I was excited.  As was the security guard (I guess for it not turning into an extremely awkward situation).

He said that Roman had read through all of my blog posts and that he was extremely enthusiastic about it.

Awww.

So I hurried to my room and immediate began writing this post...  and then I laid down, watched Jeopardy!, fell asleep and finished this at 2 AM (with clips on The Tonight Show's Youtube as my soundtrack).

So I wanted to write this post to let you know that I did receive your regards and that I wished to send my own in return.

Well till next time "Adieu, adieu

To you and you and you?"-Sound of Music

The Great Cane Incident of 2016

Warning: the following post may contain semi-strange formatting. And the slightly disjointed nature of the author’s thoughts may be jarring to some readers. Proceed with caution.

Copied from my Facebook on Friday, April 8:

I swear, Facebook, I cannot make this shit up. I was walking to my first class today, and someone tripped over my cane. I figured that it would probably

be a little bent but usable, it's definitely happen before. But rather than being a little curved out of shape, The bottom most fold/link/whatever was

bent almost in half. I thought about trying to straighten it, and once I put a little bit of pressure on it. It pretty much snapped.

I went to the accessibility office after class, using my single usable eyeball and the bit of feedback that the broken came could give me. I almost tripped

down some stairs because, though I saw and expected them, there were a bunch of people in the way and I was trying to get around them. And of course, today

is the day i decide to wear my boots instead of sneakers so the heel caught on the step... But luckily for me, most people react quickly to a blind person

stumbling, And my reflexes aren't terrible so...

Well, I'm off to class now with my scotch taped cane (they didn't have duct tape).

My thoughts

                As you can tell from the start of the post I was... I’m still not sure what word best describes how I felt. I wasn’t angry, more confused than anything else. People trip and hop (yes, hop, not even jump) over my cane quite a bit. And so I’ve had to replace a few because they were bent out of shape… but it’s never been broken. It was a little surreal, I guess.

                I don’t usually curse, and so I knew that using it in my post would really get people’s attention.

Everyone Else’s thoughts

                It was interesting, looking at the comments.

The ones from the people who knew me best all made light of it while the ones from family and acquaintances were all panicking and worried about my well-being. My fellow blind and visually impaired people sympathized. One person told me they had four spares by their door and one in their bag at all times while another told me that she’d replaced her cane three times so far this year. Luckily, I did have a spare in my room (though it wouldn’t have been hard to get a new one).

                                After telling her the story, my godmother asked if I’d “caught a big one”. That made me chuckle. The person was small in stature though I’m uncertain of…width.

I’m just still surprised that it broke. And now that I think about it, a little annoyed. Now I have to remember to get another spare. Sigh.

Well:

Sorry I was gone for such a long time. That whole college thing was rearing it’s head, and rather aggressively, I might add. I had papers galore. And when I wasn’t working, I was sitting and complaining of boredom. Then I’d remember my darling readers, but have nothing to write.

But I have been updating my blog (it’s easier to ramble on camera than write and perfect my posts to my satisfaction).

Check out my original poem, about people’s reactions to me. I wrote it a year ago. And when you’re through with that, watch my latest Vlog: What You've Always Wanted To Ask A Blind Person. It’s long, but hopefully the content makes it worth it.

For my blind and low-vision readers:

The three pictures I included are of me: one of me holding the cane and then two of the cane by itself: one showing off the tape and the other how bent it was.

‘till Saturday

Chao (the Spanish spelling)

I Miss Making Rolie Polie Olies

            All right, first, there will likely not be a post tomorrow because
1.  I have no idea what I'm going to write about, and
2.  I'll actually be behaving like a stereotypical teenager, so I'll be "out".

            So you're getting your post early.  (As usual, be forewarned of the needless backstory).

* * *

            I have two classes today, the first one, at 11:10, was made optional (for today only) because we have a paper due in a few days.  So my professor decided to use the time to work on her Masters thesis and to conference with any student who felt they need help.  So, though I woke up a few times between 6:00 am and 9:00, I didn't actually get out of bed until around 10:15.  I then paced for a while before finally beginning to get ready for the day.  And I ended up leaving ten minutes later than I was supposed to (this is what happens when you're schedule is messed up).  But I still would have gotten to the second class in time had it not happened.

            As I'm leaving the dorm building, one of the security guards comes up to me and offers to walk with me to the gate.

            "It's slippery," she says.

            Though I'm pretty sure I would have been fine, I nodded and murmured my agreement.  She takes my arm and I correct her; I'm supposed to hold her arm.  And we start moving.

            Upon reaching the gate, she tells me to have a nice day and I wish her the same.  She kept using my first name, and I was proud of myself for not correcting her each time.  I've grown a little more comfortable with it over the years (out of necessity, since there are some people who either forget or simply refuse to call me Lily).

            But anyway, after the guard—whose name I don't think I ever knew—and I parted ways, I turned right, heading toward First Avenue.  As I walked, I had my head turned slightly to the right (I can only see out of my left eye, so I usually have to turn my head to see things on the right side).  I was looking out for the City Bike rack, I always have to remember to look out for it so I don't stumble over a bike tire.  I see the person move up beside me, but I think nothing of it as I continue monitoring with my eye and sweeping my cane from left to right.  It's New York City, there's always people.

            Then my cane jerks.  I pull it closer to my body, and pause mid stride.  I think the person tried to cut in front of me.

            Did they fall? I ask myself.  It doesn't look like it and I didn't hear anything.

            In the seconds it took me to mentally ask that, and continue walking, they're on the ground...  and rolling (they roll onto my foot a little), and I see them hunch in on themselves.

            WTF? I think.

            I'm a little stunned.  I thought they were fine.  Did they fall in slow motion like eyenurse? It's times like these when I wish my vision was a little better, not twenty/twenty, but just enough for me to have seen the fall from start to finish.

            My lips curl upward (well, I'm always smiling, so I guess, to be more accurate, the upward tilt widened).  I wanted to laugh...  she freaking rolled! Which then made my think of Rolie Polie Olies.  And I had to try so hard not to laugh out loud.

            "Are you alright?" I asked, my voice hesitant and not quite loud enough to cut through her moaning.

            Did I forget to mention that? Yah, she was moaning.  That's how I figured out it was a woman.

            "Hey! Are you alright?" A man walks over to us.  And then a girl soon after (I think she's a fellow dorm resident).

            The man went to the lady, who wasn't speaking English, but a language that sounded like some flavor of Asian while the girl just stood there, the only thing she'd said was "oh my God" when she first arrived.  He kept asking if she was alright, and offered to help her up.

            "Okay," he said, voice strained.  "On three.  One, two, three."

            She didn't get up.  She said something in her language and then rolled over and lifted my cane, tapping it as she did.

            "It was this, it was this."

            Honestly, my first thought was:

            Why the F is she touching my cane? No, it was not my cane's fault, it was yours.

            My next thought was berating myself for being a terrible person.  Then I shrugged it off.  And I started fidgeting, wondering if it was appropriate for me to leave yet, I had to get to class.

            The guy tries lifting her again, and she's up this time.  I turn to leave and then stop.

            The lady says something in her language, then the guy tells me that everything's fine, and I can probably go, while the girl touches my arm gently, reiterating his words.

            There was a quick second wherein I wondered why she was touching me, I didn't feel it was necessary.  But I got over it, smiled pleasantly and went on my merry way...  to be nearly twenty minutes late to the next class.

* * *

            Later, as I was getting off of the train (I was heading to work) someone was rushing past me off of the train and also tripped over my cane, this time knocking it from my hand.

            "Oh, I'm so sorry," he said. “Are you okay?”

            I just shrugged and was like, “yeah, can you get that for me?” as a very adamant Caribbean woman began yelling at him.  He handed me my cane and I left the station.  The woman seemed a little offended when, upon turning to me and asking if I was okay, I just shrugged it off.  It happens.  Which is my usual attitude.  Except for this morning.  Where I was extremely annoyed.  Irritated.  One of those words...  but not angry.
Well, till next time (i.e.   next Saturday, or sooner)
Adios

Addendum:

Watch me rant about another person that tripped on my cane. It happened an hour or so after this post:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLOCAHjeCXA